Newsflash For Residents Of Vancouver – “Gravity Exists; You Are All Mortal”

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Petitioned The City of Vancouver
The City of Vancouver: Stop a funeral home from moving into 450 W 2nd Ave!

Petition by
Concerned Citizen
Canada

Property owners in the neighbourhood are concerned that property values will be negatively affected and that the City of Vancouver failed to consider this before approving a change of use for the commercial property in question.

To:
The City of Vancouver, Board of Variance
Stop a funeral home from moving into 450 W 2nd Avenue!
Sincerely,
[Your name]”

– posted at change.org approximately 6 Feb 2013 [hat-tip Aldus Huxtable]

Comments below the petition thread:

“Will negatively impact my property value” – Beth McNeil

“I am a resident of the adjacent condo building and I am concerned about the changes this funeral home will bring to our neighbourhood.” – Samantha Cuncliffe

“I am concerned about the impact the funeral home will have on the neighbourhood.” – Concerned Citizen

“impact of a funeral home on the neighbourhood, sales, and also the risk of health impacts caused by the funeral home.” – Laura MacCormack

“the parking!!. we have the police station right by us already. they already took up all the parking and parking anywhere they want . also the bike line just add in few months ago. there is already no parking for the owner and the visitor and for the business… that will effect our property value. so is that mean we allow to pay less tax.??…we pay tax for our community. we want to enjoy it. the funeral is right by the main traffic road. when they have a event. i cant imagine the impact for the location. they are on the route for Sunrun. and couple of the running event. is going be a nightmare.” – janet wong

“There is no reason to put a funeral home in such a thriving neighborhood. No one benefits from this, not even the funeral home because it’s a terrible location for one…no parking, police station operations that will likely disrupt any funeral services going on, frustrated neighbors who will not support them, etc etc.” – Emily Ng

Yes, we are all mortal.
And, while we’re dismantling ridiculous fantasies..
..our real estate is in a massive speculative bubble.
– vreaa

28 responses to “Newsflash For Residents Of Vancouver – “Gravity Exists; You Are All Mortal”

  1. Okay, it is settled. Note to my executor: bury me via a reception at 450 W 2nd Avenue. And throw a good party.

  2. I’m surprised the “Ghosts might invade my condo and make my Feng Shui consultant go crazy” argument was not brought up.

  3. Funeral homes bring bad feng shui.

    VREAA should at some point highlight the story over at VCI about the condo marketer who is posing as a prospective buyer in several TV news stories. It looks like quite the scam.

  4. I’m concerned about evil spirits. Wait… is this familiar?

    • Fear not, Dr. J… GrandMasterGeomancer Tan Khoon Yong is quite specific in this regard… “It is recommended that you display DualTreasuresSceptre, which shall ensure smooth progress in everything that you do!”… There ya go!

  5. Yes, funeral homes should be restricted to the funeral home district. Nothing a good city planner can’t fix.

  6. move all the funeral homes to the borough of surrey

  7. Whatever happened to the funeral home that used to be by Commercial and Broadway? Last time I was there I think I saw that it was gone and that a condo development was built in that spot. I can’t even remember the name of it, but it was there for years and long-time Vancouverites will know the funeral home I am thinking about. Maybe this funeral home wanting to go in at West 2nd is the same business attempting to relocate. So it’s not just living people who are being displaced by the condo boom. The funeral home at Commercial and Broadway was displaced by condos as well.

    Which makes you think, how long until the cemetaries are redeveloped into condos? I mean, look at all that underutilized land at Mountainview Cemetery. Think about how green it would be to minimize our ecological footprint by creating high density condos on that graveyard. I am not entirely being facetious. But I think the only reason why the graveyards are safe from development is that the superstitious Chinese buyers would never want to buy a condo built on a graveyard.

    Which makes me think of another thing. Remember that recent story about a condo developer wanting to build on a Musqueam native burial ground near the Alex Fraser Bridge. I don’t remember the details, but after months of protest from the Musqueam that development is now off the table (I think Musqueam traded them land somewhere else to develop). Put yourself in the developer’s mindset for a moment. I mean, he was fighting the Musqueam on this in the beginning. He did want to develop on that burial ground. But at some point he capitulated to the Musqueam. I bet the developer saw all the news stories about a condo development on a native burial ground and thought this would spook off the superstitious HAM buyers. I mean, if HAM don’t even want the UBC hospice near their homes, then they defitinitely do not want a Native burial ground directly UNDER their homes. I read a story recently about the haunted house discount in Hong Kong. Homes that are believed to be haunted sell at a discount. I believe that if the condos had been built on the Musqueam burial ground, the HAM effect in our market (which gives a price premium to properties with good feng shui) would have resulted in a haunted house discount on those condos.

    • The Roselawn Funeral Home – it’s been gone for years despite quite a grass roots movement (at the time) to have the Spanish style building deemed heritage.

  8. Lifetime Renter

    City council needs to study ways to end death. Imagine the advantages for real estate and development once the BPOE includes immortality. Or at least a by-law banning funeral homes that allows cadavers to be part of the weekly curbside pick-up. And why are there still hospices in this city? When is council going to wake up to the financial horror of being in the proximity of the dying? Perhaps a petition on these subjects is called for.

    • [NoteToEd: Not to worry, I am reliably informed that – currently – UBC’s FroshWeek is nothing like that archival footage… VancouverCityCouncil night sittings are a different matter however…]

  9. Real Estate Tsunami

    I’m tired of hearing about all these superstitions. Makes me feel like I’m living in the middle ages.
    Call in the GhostBusters.

  10. Pop goes the bubble

    Forget the funeral home, too noisy, they should put in a brothel.

    • Real Estate Tsunami

      Yeah,
      Offshore German businessmen would love it.

    • Uhm…I think there probably are already quite a few brothel in there….err…I mean independent full service massueses catering to a gentleman’s special needs and full satisfactions guaranteed.

  11. I see a lot of non-Asians protesting about this funeral home moving into their neighborhood. But but I thought only Asians, specifically mainland Chinese, will do that. Caucasians are understanding and inclusive and would never ever protesting something like this where it’s to mourn a person’s passing with family and friends, and celebrate the person’s life. They are not supposed to care about this stuff and be superstitious and stuff like bloody sucking scum from that hellhole on Earth. Best Place on Meth and Patriotz said so….I’m so confused….this does not compute!!

    • Even a caucasian real estate investor has to be thinking about his, um, exit strategy.

      • Real Estate Tsunami

        The Caucasians are like minority shareholders, who are trying to protect their interest.
        Remember, when in Beijing…..

      • Naked Official #9000

        Disloyal cadre, all roads lead to Beijing. Even the ones from your arctic zinc and copper deposits – and that will make it easier for our boy Steve to give us a seat on the arctic council, of course.

    • the Caucasian best real estate “exit strategy” involves selling to Asians. Why knowingly turn away your only customers before they even get there?

    • Sure you do. I saw lots of shiny caucasian faces in the brouhaha over the UBC hospice. Not.

  12. Naked Official #9000

    Disloyal cadres, please be more respectful of the obviously superior culture at play here – this is far worse and more insulting than a hospice – as of it were not bad enough to be close to the dying Canadians, now loyal cadres must e forced to be close to the dead Canadians!

    Maybe when you lazy Canadians can afford real estate, you will understand.

    Of course, we all know loyal cadres don’t die.

  13. I’ve lost both parents. I don’t need to relive those moments of their funerals twice a day as I leave for work in the morning and as I arrive home at night. I live right beside this space. Not the area for a funeral home at all.

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