A Little Family Drama – “If you hate your parents but just don’t know how to tell them, get into a real estate deal with them and the rest will follow.”

“Here’s the story of a little family drama a few years back:
A young couple in the family couldn’t afford the prices in Vancouver (how could that happen ?) so the in-laws offered to buy a new home with a largish basement suite to allow the young couple to get some equity going and thus be able to purchase a home on their own. The young couple bought into this idea and they were subsequently put on the mortgage as co-owners and they paid their half of the mortgage for the next 9 years.
After 9 years the young couple had aspirations of their own and 2 children so they went to the in-laws and said “We want our equity out now so we can buy on our own” . Of course, the boomer parents were outraged. “We won’t be giving you ungrateful losers anything, but you may leave at the end of the month so we can get a renter in”.
One lawsuit later, the house is sold and the proceeds divided up. The in-laws no longer speak with the young couple or their grandchildren. The young couple lives in a nice 3 bedroom town house on the fringes of Vancouver and the in-laws still have a mortgage on their new SFH . . . So, if you hate your parents but just don’t know how to tell them, get into a real estate deal with them and the rest will follow.”

‘1drs’ at greaterfool.ca 20 May 2012 1:05pm

9 responses to “A Little Family Drama – “If you hate your parents but just don’t know how to tell them, get into a real estate deal with them and the rest will follow.”

  1. pricedoutfornow

    Just don’t do it. Don’t buy real estate with anyone other than your spouse (with whom you can split the proceeds if worst comes to worst and you divorce). I’ve heard a few scary stories over the last few years involving parents, kids and real estate. Just don’t do it!

    • The cosigning seems to be the big one. Not enough income? Impaired credit score? There are… ways… of correcting this.

  2. Renters Revenge

    “The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions”

  3. Ahmen to that….going through similar things myself…*sigh*

    • I know a few situs similar to this, albeit the agreements are informal. The whole co-housing thing is great until things change.

  4. I have a co-worker who used to espouse the whole “buying with family”
    strategy. She did exactly that about 2.5 years ago, buying a large (very nice) home in the suburbs with her sister and brother-in-law (co-worker herself is also married).
    As a renter (natch) I used to get the whole bull spiel from her– you’re just paying someone else’s mortgage, there’s limited land, prices will only go up, up, up! Familiar refrains to many on this site.
    But I’ve noticed a change in her attitude these past few months. Twice now she’s asked me what I pay in rent ($700, includes everything but laundry, and yup it’s a 2 bedroom basement suite in Surrey, so laugh away– I’m loving it). The second time I told her, she admitted “That’s really good”. Confessed to me shortly after that she’s tired of sharing space with another couple. Apparently the brother-in-law is lazy, doesn’t help out equally, and both sister and brother-in-law are very disorganized in paying their half of the bills. Count on her to do it all, with the promise to pay her back.
    Guess she’s tired of playing mommy. Her husband apparently rarely leaves their bedroom, preferring the one room where they don’t have to share space. All of their initial plans– convert the basement to a suite, expand the deck, re-finish furnishings– have fallen by the wayside due to lack of help from the other half of the house. She’s just given up, and I suspect she’s just waiting for their 5 year term to be up to sell.
    Here’s the kicker– in an attempt to make herself feel better and (I think) redeem her situation in my eyes, she proudly told me about a month ago that she and her husband paid off just under $8000 of their mortgage last year. They have minimal cash savings, so this $8000 is what their “savings” increased by in one year (in their minds, in any case). I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my partner and I had socked away over four times that amount in the same period of time. All made liquid more easily than equity.
    I know what the raging bulls will say- “It’s the internet. You can say whatever you want here, and nobody can verify it.” Fine. Believe that to your detriment. But I can’t be the only one sensing a shift in attitude. It’s oh-so-subtle, but it’s there. And it’s different than 2008, that’s for sure.

  5. Pingback: Shift In Attitude – “I have a co-worker who used to espouse the whole “buying with family” strategy. I’ve noticed a change in her attitude these past few months. Twice now she’s asked me what I pay in rent.” | Vancouver Real Esta

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