PostCardsFromTheBlastRadius #2 – The Okanagan Bust – ‘The Conservatory’ Becomes ‘The Reformatory’

TheConservatory!  Look On My Works, Ye Mighty and Despair!
Kathy[Michaels] “If there’s ever been a project that highlights the inherent risks of putting money down on something that doesn’t yet exist, it’s The Conservatory in Glenmore. Developers broke ground for the 99-unit luxury residential condominium nearly [nine] years ago…  It sat for several years as a big, yawning hole in the ground, the subject of neighbourhood jokes… Shortly after ground broke in October 2002, work came to a halt and it took until 2005 before financing issues were resolved and crews headed back to the site again [albeit, only temporarily!]. Further exacerbating the issue was that there was no means to recoup costs from investors who purchased their suites at a cost of  $240 a square foot. The most developers could increase prices was by 27 per cent, but by the time the property went into receivership, the costs were more in the range of  $470 and $550 a square foot…”

Quick, call CentralCasting! All we need are a few emaciated ‘Rent-A-Refugees’ and we can ‘wrap’ that Bosnian MovieOfTheWeek under budget/ahead of schedule! Just imagine the LineProducer’sBonus we’ll score on that one, Boyz ‘n Girlz!

Alternatively, given TheConservatory’s resemblance to the kind of ‘WorkersParadise’ housing so ubiquitous in the former SovietUnion/EastBlox – perhaps we could resuscitate SCTV’s inimitable CCCP TV and gift it this lovely ‘new’ OkaNaganProduktionComplex!

Nix the foregoing!!!  Because: Bingo!…  Nem’s had another epiphany!.. Here’s the thing, with all the recent controversy regarding the cost/location/siting of a new regional provincial correctional facility – why not ReBrand ‘TheConservatory’ as…
After all, they already have a secure perimeter and more than enough ‘luxury suites’ to accomodate hundreds of new guests! Best of all, harness those very same ‘new guests’ to complete the project and you’ve got a vocational rehabilitation programme at ‘pennies on the dollar’!…
A ‘WinWin’ all around! – for BC Taxpayers and Provincial ‘GuestWorkers’ incentivized to finish their lodgings before Winter’s chill arrives!

Of passing interest, an actual ‘CrimeScene’ adjacent to TheReformatory’s SecurePerimeter.

Cleaned out and ironically emblematic of the TheReformatory’s financial woes – a petty cash box most likely taken from one of numerous abandoned ‘Atco’ construction offices/trailers nearby.  Further proof, if any were needed, that the villain who does his ‘RE Homework’ first needn’t waste time forcing entry to unproductive venues.  ‘Nemesis’ neglected to bring his CSI toolkit on this occasion – so instead, notified on-site security who were demonstrably pleased to finally have something to ‘observe & report’ besides the sado-masochistic exhibitionism of self-flagellating RemorsefulRealtors™.

Now as CrimeScenes go, this ain’t just any old Reformatory – nope, it’s a Reformatory with a view!… Albeit, this PrisonersPanorama features a vanquished pastoral idyll.  Where once orchards predominated – sadly, now rise the HousingTractsOfTheDamned™.
‘Nemesis’ is feeling biblical…  nay, not CrefloDollar ‘ProsperityGospel’ Biblical [aside to audience: google that one, cause I swear you can’t make up/write s**t like that]!  But OldTestament, CharltonHeston, CecilBDeMille – WrathfulBiblical!…  Accordingly, time for a little apropos Jeremiah…
Prophecy Of Jeremias (Jeremiah) 6:4-5 [Douay-Rheims]
[4] Prepare ye war against her: arise, and let us go up at midday: woe unto us, for the day is declined, for the shadows of the evening are grown longer. [5] Arise, and let us go up in the night, and destroy her houses.

Sometime soon, in the not terribly distant future, Nemesis ‘prophecies’ that authentic indigenes (aka FirstNations) will doubtless refer in passing to all this as, “The ‘hallowed burial grounds’ of a greedy, foolish and primitive people.”.. Speculative fiction or prescient forecast? We’ll see… 😉

What’s worse, this view to the hills from The Conservatory, or the reverse? Thanks to Nemesis, for illustrating the desolation of a housing collapse,  already commenced in our periphery. -ed.

Photos and commentary for the ‘BlastRadius’ series by ‘Nemesis’.
[Images Ⓒ​2011 ‘Nemesis’ – All Rights Reserved]

7 responses to “PostCardsFromTheBlastRadius #2 – The Okanagan Bust – ‘The Conservatory’ Becomes ‘The Reformatory’

  1. i have no need to google the Rev. Creflo Dollar, Nem

    he has entertained me through many a haze filled early morning’s worth of channel surfing. more proof that the lowest common denominator is sinking fast.

    great post – mOar please!

    • More on the way.
      Nemesis has forwarded some remarkable material; all will be shared in the weeks to come.

    • StayTuned, Polly et al!!!…. Coming soon, to a quintessential ExistentialistYVRRE Blog, near you…

      “TheColossusOfWestBank & TheTerrifying&Pityless ProtoRealtors™ of OgoPogo!”…

    • ohYeah! – QuickieBetwixtPeriods – The ‘Habs’… LoveTheTown! JeMeSouviens Le duo Spectaculaire – PieretteEtCeline (sorry, Phillipe – don’t bend that way) – CabinCrewExtraordinaire on AC’s AvenueOfTheAmerica’s&BackToCivilizationExpress/88!!!

      ps – mE Mammy’s Mammy used to cook for the Habs during their summer TrainingCamp in Timmins/ON – and YeS!, even LaFuséeRichard (oddly, that works better in English – TheRocket!)!… Leafs/RedWings, too… Yikes! Back in play! Time for more alochol!…. (pps – never do PostGrad studies in ‘creativeWriting’! Never! Ruined more NascentTalent than booze!)…

  2. Ground broken 6 years ago. Kelowna is Ground Zero. A rag tag group of developers sets the scene there. Vancouver’s established cartel seems far more effective at keeping the peace.

  3. pricedoutfornow

    Unfortunately, I know several people who lent money in the hundreds of thousands of dollars to developers in the Okanagan, and have now (or are in the process of) losing everything they lent. They were promised great returns on their money (varies from 12-18%) and were promised repayment of the loan within a year or two, plus interest. A few are still waiting to see how it will turn out (it’s been years since they lent the money and it’s dragging on) and others have written off the debt as the developer has gone belly-up (this project might actually be one of them). Real estate is definitely over in the Okanagan, though right now it seems to be in a holding pattern-people not willing to sell for less than what they think the property is “worth”-but just watch, the crash will come.

    • “I know several people who lent money in the hundreds of thousands of dollars to developers in the Okanagan, and have now (or are in the process of) losing everything they lent.”…

      Wow (as in SadWow 😦 )… It’s anecodtals like that one, PricedOut that really, ‘PutTheMeatOnTheBones’ of the GrandNarrative of the GreaterDepression they’re labelling as ‘Recovery’…

      Although ‘Nem’ doesn’t know any ‘investors’ who’d advanced funds to OkiDevs for speculative newBuilds – he does have personal knowledge of OkiPropSpeculator’s who’ve effectively ‘lost it all’ gambling on assorted ‘recreational’ developments – including one (a former neighbour and SportyBloke/DiamondGeezer) who saw more than 1 BigOne evaporate… Broke and one step ahead of the bailifs, he has since returned to Blighty to start over – at 57…

      Which, ThematicallySpeaking, is the perfect segue into today’s best SocioEconomic read… with Kudos! to NewsWeek (who, in their own way, are still holding aloft the ‘torch’ that TimeInc. dropped following the WarnerMerger, so very long ago)…

      [NewsWeek] – Dead Suit Walking – If this isn’t the Great Depression, it is the Great Humbling. Can manhood survive the lost decade?

      “Two coasts. Two men who can’t find jobs. And one defining moment for the men in the gray flannel suits who used to run this country. Or at least manage it. Capitalism has always been cruel to its castoffs, but those blessed with a college degree and blue-chip résumé have traditionally escaped the worst of it. In recessions past, they’ve kept their jobs or found new ones as easily as they might hail a cab or board the 5:15 to White Plains. But not this time. The suits are “doing worse than they have at any time since the Great Depression,” says Heidi Shierholz, a labor economist at the Economic Policy Institute. And while economists don’t have fine-grain data on the number of these men who are jobless—many, being men, would rather not admit to it—by all indications this hitherto privileged demo isn’t just on its knees, it’s flat on its face. Maybe permanently. Once college-educated workers hit 45, notes a post on the professional-finance blog Calculated Risk, “if they lose their job, they are toast.” “…

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