“Nice house… if you’re a serial killer.”


“I have repeatedly sent MLS listings of $1m+ houses to people in the UK who reply with comments like “looks like a nice house, if you’re a serial killer.” (Example, MLS#V898254 1723 Napier Street, $1.21M.)”
- Aldus Huxtable at VREAA 3 Feb 2012 4:00pm

And, an obliquely related comment regarding contemporary build quality:

“I don’t get it. How can a house made from woodchips and glue cost [so much] to build? In Europe, a house like this would only be used as a movie prop to blow up.
Could someone explain this to me: Why do Canadians insist on using the shittiest building materials even on high end properties? Can’t a multimillion house be built using a real building material, like reinforced concrete?”
- bubbly at VREAA 3 Feb 2012 at 11:26am

28 Responses to “Nice house… if you’re a serial killer.”

  1. Renting and waiting...

    ha ha…is this last house around 14th and Columbia? I have been watching this house being built, feeling sorry for whoever owns it.

    I made a tree fort as a kid that was constructed better!

  2. “Why do Canadians insist on using the shittiest building materials even on high end properties?”

    Because we sell the rights to our quality materials. They are shipped overseas. It’s common knowledge worldwide that Canadians are expendable.

  3. Seems to be that all the “new builds” are made of particle board.

    We ship nice old trees overseas, they make them into chips, add some toxic substances, press it together and send it back to us at several times the cost.

    I would rather live in a sod house than most of these new veneer builds. At least I know where the materials came from and what is in it…..

  4. vreaa, thanks for posting this. The construction picture shows it well. And that piece of shit costs $200/sqft to build! That’s on the lower end…

    Every time my friends and family from Europe visit and they see construction like this, they laugh and take pictures. They have to document it, because nobody back home would believe.

  5. Renters Revenge

    I have a friend who built a house in Germany. I was fortunate enough to see the drawings and visit the project mid-build, I also met with his contractor when I was there. Over there they do not mess around with particle board and those houses are built to last 200-300 years. I live in a 17 year old house here and at the rate it’s decaying I’d be surprised if it’s even standing in 50 years.

    • My mom’s house is 120 years old and its roof is in its original state. My grandma’s house is close to 200 years old and the beams that support the roof are the original ones…

      In europe, houses are built to last. I was actually shocked to see so many houses being knocked down when I moved to Vancouver. I told to myself: “what a waste!”. Now I understand why people have to do so, but still, it’s a f…ing waste.

  6. Relevant prior post, with pertinent discussion:

    ‘Under’ Construction – The Mouldy Shoe-Box Knockdowns of 2050-2060

    Also:
    Anybody interested in Vancouver construction must take the time to read Froogle Scott’s Chronicles.

  7. If all y’all think building with OSB is funny, should see what got built with the profits from manufacturing OSB during the North American housing boom:

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/economy/housing/few-offers-for-canadas-biggest-fixer-upper/article1991822/
    http://www.boatcan.com/showboat.php?ad=1242160836
    That’s right, a custom boat made out of the stuff. The $10MM price is pure fiction, here’s a better guess: “The current asking price is $2,999,000 and it is based on an old yacht broker’s axiom of “if you want to sell a custom one off, just take half off the build price.” I had been told that it was 6 million to build but have since been told by the builder it was only 4 million. I will eventually have three opinions of value from marine surveyors so that the sale can be approved by a Canadian court.”

  8. West Coast Woman

    The sad thing about Vancouver is that all the houses that WERE built to last 200-300 years are being knocked down to make way for these puff ball houses, most of which wouldn’t survive a major earthquake.

    Our house is late-1950′s, solidly built out of old growth fir and oak. The hardwood floors look new after sanding and refinishing them a few years ago. These floors apparently could be sanded down 5-6 more times if needed, according to the people who did the work. With upgrades for energy efficiency, new counters and floors in the kitchen and updated bathrooms this house is much better than any of the new ones built in the last 25 years.

    All around us similarly well-built houses are being destroyed to make way for these outrageously priced particle board McMansions. But that’s what you get when people want the largest, most expensive looking house on the block, so the spec builders come in to make a profit off of them.

    Personally, I wouldn’t buy anything built in this City after the 1980′s. Most of it leaks, is mouldy, and is built for show but not to last.

  9. We rent an apartment in Paris that was built in the 1930′s. It’s considered fairly new by this city’s standards. I wonder what the new condo we used to rent in Vancouver will look like in 80 years…

  10. I’ve heard builders themselves complaining about the quality of materials. Here in Ottawa last year, there was a spate of house fires one week, including a couple of houses still under construction. A few people in the build industry were interviewed, and they said that regulations forced them to use recycled materials wherever possible, and that we should expect a lot more deadly house fires in the future, as the stuff combusts faster. Now, I don’t know enough about the industry to know if this is actually the truth, or if it was just some guys in the industry making excuses and passing off the blame for shoddy builds.

  11. There are really two schools of thought when it comes to structures: 1) Built to last but soon outdated, 2) built to use and then replace. Those that were built to last soon enough find themselves less desirable as needs/fashion change. Those old homes can be very tough to work with upgrading the electrical and communication needs of the modern family not to mention insulation/heating tech and desires for larger spaces. Many homes bullt in Canada after WWII were not built to last. They were also significantly smaller. Take a look in the East where you get these incredible homes built with solid masonry. Now try to expand on it… not easy at all.

    The newer homes which have a planned obsolescence are cheaper and faster to build and even easier to knock down and build to suit the next owner’s tastes/needs. It’s a page right out of Japan where they primarily build prefab housing and the homes are expected to be absolutely solid for up to 25 years. The exterior paint? That has a lifespan of 30 years. Yes, the paint can last longer than the home! I know because I did some consulting work with the paint manufacturer. At first I was shocked but then my preconceptions of home construction was shaken to its core by realizing that the cheaper and faster pre-fab method was a far better solution to housing. It’s also increasingly popular in Europe. We should be doing more of it here.

    • It’s slowly catching on for an odd reason, avoiding cost-overruns on building a new house. The only place you can get dinged with the unexpected is pouring the foundation. Imagine.

    • It’s not only about longevity. European homes are much less likely to burn down to ashes, there is nothing living in the walls, you don’t hear every little sound coming from the street or the neighbors, etc.

      As for “outdated”, please go to Paris or any other historic city in Europe (there are plenty) and tell them that they are “outdated”.

      No wonder Europeans think that North Americans are boorish and ignorant…

      • I hate it when people say “Europe” and actually mean “France and Germany”.

      • evilfred, have you ever been to Europe? You seem very ignorant.

        And no, I do not mean only France and Germany. Building quality is much higher in most European countries, maybe with the exception of some areas in Scandinavia and *some* post-soviet states.

  12. “Nice house… if you’re a serial killer.”

    One can imagine the mail-in bidding war:

    Willie Pickton kicks things off by offering asking price.

    Clifford Olson steps in and offers $1.25 M.

    Realtor thinks: “Hmmm. Strong local interest.”

    Paul Bernardo offers $1.3M.

    Realtor thinks: “Great. An out-of-town bid.”

    Gary Ridgeway of Seattle makes a conditional offer of $1.4M, “Contingent on resolving certain immigration issues.”

    David Berkowitz of New York City comes in with a bully bid at $1.75M. “Same conditions as Ridgeway.”

    Realtor thinks: “And here come the foreign offers! Now we’re talking!!”

    • pfft! lol! magnum, have you gone completely mad! did someone start a show called ‘extreme gentrification’ and sign up the hood? when i was growing up that place would have been rough on the serial killers. $1.2M ask @ napier/commercial? $3.5M asks near 49th/cambie? is there a new strain of shrooms i don’t know about? scusi – now back to examining the sasquatch droppings

  13. Charles Ng steps over Berkowitz with a $2 million cash offer.

    Realtor shouts: “And here comes the HAM!!!”

  14. I have a few friends in Langley etc in 5-7 year old homes that have had leaks. One guy had water running through a kitchen light fixture during a rain storm, and another had water leaking in through a window. Bottom line is that it was the poor workmanship. Luckily they had new home warranty. I would be very cautious of buying anything newer construction. For whatever reason, the older homes seem to hold up much better

    • Look how fast they go up. Look at the “kids” working on them. I saw a 4-unit condo go up in the West Ottawa neighbourhood I used to live in. The foreman’s truck would sometimes be parked their for half an hour early in the morning, and the rest of the day these two 19 year old kids would be working on the house unsupervised. Maybe the truck would show up randomly once or twice during the day for a brief check. I remember thinking, “No freaking way would I buy a unit in there.”

  15. Has the woodchip board improved lately, anyone know? Because I even see woodframe condo are built with woodchip board.

    One good thing is these cheap houses are easy to lock down for new ones. Seriously, who wants to live in a 9 bedrooms house?

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