Global BC TV ran another shameless real estate infomercial as news, arguably even more blatantly obvious RE touting than the very recent ‘Helicopter Cam’ [9 Feb 2011] and ‘Burnaby Line-Up’ [16 Feb 2011] incidents.
‘Village on False Creek’s First Buyer’, [4 Mar 2011], is a breathless account of a 27 year old moving into a 700sqft ground-floor Olympic Village condo. The attention to realtor-type detail in the piece is enough to make even the most bald-faced salesman blush: the buyer is a ‘happy homeowner’, the site is better than others in the city, a non-view is a ‘view’, the non-view is safe from further obstructing buildings, the condo is ‘bright’, the small spaces are ‘spacious’, prices have been ‘slashed’, just look at each & every one of the shiny appliances, the high ceilings, etc, etc.
The piece offers some wonderful laughs for the discerning viewer, but don’t let that distract you. This perversion of programming, with selling masquerading as ‘news’, is serious stuff. We archive it here in all its mundane and agonizing glory, for the record.
Anybody at Global still consider themselves a ‘journalist’? – vreaa
Announcer: “When condo king Bob Rennie remarketed the village recently and lowered the prices, nearly half of the available units sold out. [Hahaha: 'Half the units sold out' = oxymoron. -ed.] Today, the first of those new buyers moved in.”
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
John L. Daly, Reporter: “She’s a happy home-owner… a 27 year old homeopath who’s now unpacking at her brand new condo at ‘The Village at False Creek’, formerly the ‘Olympic Village’. She’s the first to buy in and move in after the prices were slashed.”
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
Christy Zettl, Olympic Village Condo Owner: “I am ‘number one’, yes, big day today.”
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
Christy Zettl: “For what you are paying and then the type of accommodation that they have, it’s probably the best in the city. Uhm… we looked at a lot of places in the West-end, on Denman, on Beach, and, you know, for what you were getting for the space, for the location, there’s not even comparable.” [We'll just have to guess what is meant here because, taken literally, it makes no sense. -ed.]
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
Christy Zettl: “I like the high ceilings, and the big windows, and you can see through the water through/out the door [sic]“
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
John Daly: “She has a view through the Community Centre to the water. [Not making this up, folks. -ed.] The good news is there is virtually no chance that anyone can build a new building in front of her, here on False Creek.” [One building is enough, already. -ed.]
[Brief bridging section inserted here on building in another area of downtown that will obscure neighbours' views.]
John Daly: “…not an issue for Christy, whose bright condo in the Kayak Building sits right on the street across from the Community Centre. She says she’s not allowed to say what she paid for it, but…:”
Christy Zettl: “It was reduced probably about 30% from the original price.. so if it went for full price there’s no way I would have been able to afford to move here (smiles).”
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
John Daly: “The 700sqft unit has one bedroom,…

“a utility room,…

“a modern washer drier combo,…

“a relatively spacious wash-and-bath-room [sic],…

“And built in fridge,..
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
“microwave,…

“and convection oven,…

“topped with a gas range.”

[Here there is a demonstration of the impressive gas-range lighting capacity]:

Reporter John Daly, (who perhaps used to consider himself a journalist but by now must be feeling like this guy)…

…continues: “As well as possibly one hot part of Olympic history:”
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
Christy Zettl: “It’s unconfirmed, but apparently Sidney Crosby might have been staying in this apartment, so… I just found out about a minute ago… that’s quite exciting!… (laughs)…”
[Image removed at Christy Zettl's request, 28 Feb 2013]
John Daly: “After looking all over town, Christy’s family is very pleased to see her settle down in what was once the ‘Olympic Village’… now, ‘The Village at False Creek’.” [In case you missed the new brand name when we mentioned it a minute ago. -ed]