Absinthe at VREAA 15 feb 2011 12:39pm – “We’re staying in Vancouver because we’ve got 3 sets of grandparents for the kids nearby, and neither my husband or I has much interest in BC outside of Vancouver proper. But my subconscious has something else to say: twice this past week, I’ve dreamed of the relief of packing up and moving to Toronto or Montreal.”
RE pervades everything here, even our sleep.
Any more housing dreams, nightmares, out there? Please post.
-vreaa
You will probably have this dream until you either revert to being comfortable living here or move somewhere else. Having lived where it was best for the kids for eighteen years myself, I understand why you would do that.
The question becomes: If you yourself are not happy, depending on the degree of that unhappiness, is your unhappiness going to impact your children in the long run? You see, it may be possible for your kids to be just as happy living a thousand miles away or two thousand miles away. It may be possible for all of you to be happy living somewhere else, so that no one is unhappy. In other words, a win-win is possible.
Now the grandparents, on the other hand, are not so straight forward. They’ve lived their life, now it’s your turn. I don’t think living your life around someone else’s is going to make you or keep you happy in the long term. If you chose to move to Toronto, there will be tears on everyone’s part. Everyone will be sad for awhile, but eventually your immediate family will return to normal, as long as you pay close attention to how their are adapting to their new environment. Sometimes people, especially kids, regret a move because there’s a difficult transition period. That means you really, really need to know what you are getting into before you select a new home.
The grandparents will all remain sad for a long time, some may be sad forever. Although unlikely, some of them may follow you to your new city, but I wouldn’t even ask them to, because that just makes your life more difficult at a time when it has already entered your subconscious mind through your dreams.
When we were thinking about buying an acreage property in the Fraser Valley (after our children moved out), I began looking at them on the MLS. Eventually that turned into driving by a few of them. Last year we actually got an agent and went inside a couple of them. Right now we are RENTING an acreage to see what it’s like. Things we’ve never had to deal with before:
1. septic tank
2. well water (massive water filter)
3. giant lawn to cut – must get a ride on lawn mower
4. trees falling down
But having rented an acreage first, we now get to know if we reaaaaaallly want an acreage.
We are only ten years from retirement, so an acreage can be a real burden. But, I know now that I want to buy an acreage, perhaps one with more trees and less lawn.